It's
no secret that I have struggled with depression all of my life. It has
not been a constant emotion. But there are periods of months where it
has been. Sometimes it lasts longer than other times. Sometimes it has
been hormonal. Sometimes it has been seasonal. Sometimes it has followed
periods of sickness, or unrelenting trauma, grief, disappointment, or
stress. Sometimes it is simply a veil of sadness that I cannot seem to
shed. There have been times when I have wished God would take my life.
As
a follower of Christ, it is easy to believe that something is wrong
with my faith when I face these emotions. Now I know better. I know that
the body and brain are connected. When we are not feeling well
physically, it can affect our brain and our emotions. I have also
learned that my sadness is a reckoning with the brokenness of this
world. I know too much. I have seen too much. My memory doesn't lie. I
simply can't deny the truth that this world is not a walk in the park.
Most people choose to drown it out with things that numb it out. A beer.
A margarita. A binge of Netflix. A spa day. A shopping spree. Whatever
it takes to feel better. Shoot, even the psychiatrist tells you you need
a pill. You shouldn't feel this way, they tell you. It's not normal,
they tell you.
Now,
I am not saying that medications aren't helpful to reboot your brain
into health. Indeed, it is sometimes needed, especially when our
depressed thoughts keep us from functioning, or tell us to do things
that are harmful, like try to take our own life. And counseling is also
very helpful when our thought processes are faulty, and when our
thinking spirals out of control down rabbit trails that are not in line
with truth.
But
the reality is, when we are honest, our minds can really wrestle with
the reality that life falls short of our expectations. When things are
going well, it is easy to be on an emotional high. But when things don't
go the way we expect them to, we know that something is wrong.
The
Bible gives us the answer. In Genesis we read about how God created
everything perfect. It was literally the Garden of Eden. He created us
to live in that perfect world. That is what we were made for. Deep in
our psyche, our minds know this. It's in our DNA. But in Chapter 3 we
read about how everything went terribly wrong. The enemy came in, told
Adam and Eve a lie, and they bought it. They disobeyed God, and he cast
them out of Eden. He pronounced a curse on the earth. Now Adam would
toil for his food "through the sweat of his brow." Now Eve would give
birth to children in pain. Death would be the final punishment. Are they
supposed to be happy about this?
The
answer is no. And neither are we. This is being honest about the curse.
But even in that pronouncement of the curse, God gave a message of
hope. He said that someday one of Eve's descendants would crush the
power of Satan. That descendant is Jesus. You see, God chose to come to
earth himself in the form of a man, Jesus, and fix this broken world
himself. He experienced the same sadness we did. He faced the pain of
hunger and temptations in the wilderness. He experienced the grief of
his friend's death. He felt anger at injustice and corruption. He
experienced the betrayal of his close friends. And he suffered the pain
of one of the most brutal types of torture and death, death on a cross.
And in doing that, he broke the power of sin and death once and for all
for those who choose to trust in his power to do so. He proved it by
returning to life on the third day, and showing us that we, too, can be
resurrected, not only to an eternal life with him after we die, but a
newness of life here on earth.
Friend,
if you are feeling despair and hopelessness, I've got good news for
you. Your faith is not broken. The world is. But there is real hope. Not
a promise that your life is going to suddenly get easier, better, and
you won't have any more problems. Not a pill that will make all your
negative emotions go away. But a promise that will help you endure the
hard times and sad moments of this life. That hope is Jesus. The Bible
tells us that he promises to give us an abundant life knowing he has
overcome the power of the curse and that, when we choose to trust in
Him, we will spend eternity with him. He promises to "wipe every tear
from our eyes" (Revelation 21:4). He reminds us that, "in this world,
you will have trouble, but take heart, I have overcome the world" (John
16:33). He said, "Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not
give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and
do not be afraid" (John 14:27). For those who trust in him, he promises
that God has a place for them in heaven, and he has gone ahead of us to
prepare a place there for us. He said he will come back take us to be
there with him (John 14:1-3).
These
are words of real hope. Until then, we are to wait. To trust. To lean
on him. You see, the curse was put there to remind us that we need him.
It is a God-shaped hole in our hearts that can only be satisfied with
Him. So when you are having a bad day, he wants you to lean on him and
him alone.
As
I lay awake tonight, the words of this song by Brian and Jenn Johnson
flood my mind. I share it with you and pray it comforts you with real
hope in your time of sadness, and points you to the one whose arms are
strong enough to carry you through it all by his grace.
I rest my soul on Jesus when the mountains shake
I put my trust in Jesus the moment I awake
And when my soul is lost at sea, he will be my rock
My vision be in Christ alone, this grace is all we've got
His love is like a mighty ocean, His love for me will never stop
Oh, his arms are strong enough to carry me through it all by the grace of God.
So high upon his shoulders, safely brought this far,
Helper of my helpless soul, the king of broken hearts.
His love is like the mighty ocean,
His love for me will never stop
Oh, his arms are strong enough to carry me through it all by the grace of God.
You are the passion of my life, Lord Jesus,
You are the song within my soul,
My strength, my hope, my all in all is you, Jesus, you.
When breath grows still and life draws near, I will not be afraid,
I know the plans he has for me don't finish at my grave.
His love is like the mighty ocean, his love for me will never stop,
Oh, his arms are strong enough to carry me through it all by the grace of God.
Posts
